"Crisco" Cailean Tiernan

My cat died last weekend. It was late Saturday night or very early Sunday morning depending on how you look at it. Brian was home when it happened; I was out of town. We don't know for sure how it happened. Brian passed him sitting on the basement steps. He was in the office when he heard a thud and thought it was just a cat landing or something getting knocked over. A few minutes later, he found Crisco on the landing. He was not responding, not moving. We don't know if he fell and broke his neck, or if he had a heart attack, or if he had a seizure or brain aneurysm. I hope it was quick and painless. He has been sick for a long long time. The vet's best diagnosis was that he had the kitty version of Chrohn's disease. He'd go thru periods where he was largely ok, and then there would be a week or two where he'd throw up a lot. He was on a steroid to help control the throwing up, but I think the effectiveness wasn't so good anymore. We've also noticed his increasing arthritis. He would move slowly and stiffly after getting up from a nap. So perhaps his bones were growing increasingly brittle, and a bad fall did more damage than it would a healthy cat. 

I'm so sad he is gone. I am sad I didn't get to say goodbye to him. I'm sad for all the times I wasn't very nice to him. I'm sad that there will no longer be a big fat cat sitting patiently by the fridge waiting for ice; that there won't be a cat walking all over us when his food bowl is empty; that there will be no insistent lap kitty ready to snuggle up on us while we sit on the couch; that we won't have to worry about balloon string or packing tape; that we won't see a fat cat squeezing himself into a tiny box; that we won't see this big orange monster suddenly getting playful and chasing after a toy mouse; that his growing tolerance of allowing Caiden to pet or brush him is no more; that we have two cat carriers and only need one; that I won't feel his purr motor rumbling or hear is silly tiny little meow squeaking out of his huge cat bulk. These are just some of the things that I will miss about him. There are many more. And more that will hit me and wash over me in time. It's hard saying goodbye to a loved pet.

He was the first pet I picked out from a litter and cared for his entire life. He is my first pet that died unexpectedly. The house is empty without him. I keep walking around and thinking I see him out of the corner of my eye. Then I realize I will never see him out of the corner of my eye. I will never see him on the couch or chair or upstairs hallway. He will not be coming back to IL with us.

Crisco would have been 9 years old this summer. It's a short life for an indoor cat, and I think part of what makes the shock of his death even greater. We got him when he was just 10 weeks old. He was so sweet and so tiny. I took so many pictures of him. I was jealous over how much he preferred Brian to me, but in time he sought out my lap just as much as Brian's. He was my furbaby for many years. When the boys came along, both cats took a back seat in our priorities, but I still loved him dearly. He was a quirky cat, and he needed extra care, but he made sure you knew just how much he loved a warm lap.


I will miss you dearly my sweet "little tiger." I hope you are in a place free from sickness and pain. I hope there are balloon strings and catnip mice galore for you to play with. I hope there is a big lap for you to curl up on and nap. I hope there are sunbeams aplenty and no shortage of your favorite treats and food and bowls of ice.

You were loved.

Goodbye "Crisco" Cailean Tiernan.
June 2002 - June 5, 2011

Crisco's Memorial Service