Yeah...the title of this post is a bit on the dramatic side, but it somehow sums up a little too perfectly how I am feeling about this week. In case you didn't know, I returned to work this week and took Caiden to daycare for the first time. I had been dreading this day for what felt like forever and knew it was going to be a struggle for me. Predictably enough, I was a complete wreck Monday night and Tuesday morning. I cried enough that my eyes felt heavy and tired all day on Tuesday. And yes, I wound up crying at the daycare, and it took me 45 minutes just to say goodbye to Caiden.
As for the little man? Totally fine. He seemed completely unfazed! However, as I had feared, his nap schedule is suffering. He normally naps 5-6 hours throughout the day. On Tuesday he napped for 1 hour. Wednesday he napped for 2.5 hours. We'll see how today goes. So far he's been asleep for 90 min. Oh and by the way - none of these naps have been at the daycare. Fortunately his night sleep remains largely uninterrupted.
Anywho, yesterday was a tiny bit easier, and today I managed to drop him off without crying. Next week will be another challenge to overcome. This week I've been working half-days to ease us both into the new routine, but next week I go back to full days. I'm worried about how he'll do with a full day's separation (or how I'll do for that matter!), and how my milk supply will hold up. I'm making use of the mother's room in the office to pump milk. I just hope it's enough for him.
The daycare itself isn't awful, but it is far from ideal. The room he is in is kind of small. There are 7 other babies in the room. The caregivers are nice, but they don't seem to be listening to my advice with regard to how he naps best. Then again, maybe Caiden isn't cooperating either and might be struggling with our usual nap routine since this is a completely different environment. He does seem to enjoy the toys there, and we might just have to get ourselves an exersaucer for him to play in. I know a lot of this just requires patience for the adjustments to settle in. But I still think this sucks, and I feel terrible leaving him.
I know I'll get thru this, and the hard part will be over soon. Thank you to everyone for your support - it means a lot to me!
3 comments:
Well if it makes it any easier for you. I work down the street from your place, I would be happy to stop in and check on him or take photo's of him so you can see how he is doing during theday.
Not to worry! I've received word from my "Far Northwest Spies" that he's doing just fine at Day Care. Much better off than kids in a Day Don't Care. I hear that he's already entertaining the little girls there by jumping up from behind a chair. I couldn't find out where he learned how to do that but it really gets a lot of laughs.
Hang in there, Sis!! You'll make it through! You are so lucky to have that light at the end of the tunnel. Stay focused on that. And do not worry, Moms always suffer more than Baby! Trust me on that. And change places if you are uncomfortable, or look into an at-home nanny. Call every day if you need peace of mind. What a nice offer Sharon made. :) You and Caiden will be fine! There is comfort in routine and your new one will kick in. Hang in there!!!
Love, Tara
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