Flop

File this one under miscellaneous stories from the idiot realm.

As a consequence of chiropractic care, L & I have been using Tempurpedic curvy-neck pillows for a few months now. Once we got past the smell, (memory foam smells funny when it's new,) we were in love. Since the chiro office claimed to offer some 'deals' direct from the manufacturer, we'd been waiting bloody forever before making the plunge and getting the matching mattress.

With a free afternoon on last Saturday, we stopped at SleepCountry and took the plunge. 3 days later the smelly new beast was delivered and sitting atop our bedframe. It was as marvelous as it was tall, at least 3" taller than the last one.

L was there to accept the package and manage the movers, and she made up the bed all nice and inviting. I came home that night and she said to me, "Doesn't it just make you want to FLOP on it? I think if you don't flop on it, it won't like you and will reject you during the night."

What follows next will go down in the annals of Duchek history. Yes, that's exactly what I did. I flopped on it. Jump, extend, decend, land.

It was like belly-flopping onto the floor. Memory foam doesn't bounce. It doesn't respond to quick pressures. It was as gentile as cement wrapped in cardboard. Ever seen those cartoons where the coyote lands on water (in the desert?) and the water cracks?!? And then of course the coyote slowly sinks into the water.

I am the coyote. Goo-goo-ga-joob.